Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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