I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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