it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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