I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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