You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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