You smell like stripper and shame
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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