guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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