absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize