This girl is more easily done than said...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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