i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
