I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
