The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
