dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
