I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
