My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
