whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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