3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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