How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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