u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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