I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize