Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
