Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
