In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
