he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
