hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
