We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize