So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
