I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
