He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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