Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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