So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
