apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
