oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
