No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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