i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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