so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize