Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
you never un-have a 4some
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
