I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
