i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I love having hate sex.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Randomize
