We're like a lot better than the average bears
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
