i barfeds in our rink
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
