someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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