i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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