Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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