I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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