As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
