yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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