I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
