you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
