oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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