just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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