i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is Oprah even human
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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