You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
