What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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