And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
