Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
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