You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize