Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize