My balls are so social today.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize