Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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