Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
